Gratitude

Counting your blessings can change your outlook. Velma told me yesterday that I need to write down three things I’m thankful for each day. So, here goes and today’s list is great!

3 Gratitudes for the last day in February:

❤️ My blood pressure was 113/70! Whoop!!!

❤️ My oncologist told me that, as soon as I passed the two year mark, the chance of the cancer returning dropped dramatically and he moved me from a four month check to six months! Whoop! Whoop!!

❤️ I had a great workout with Josh today and felt better than I have in weeks! 

I got a new step counter last year but didn’t take it out of the box until yesterday. It also monitors heart rate and sleep. Thanks to it, I may have found the key to why I’ve been feeling so tired; I only had 4 hours and twenty minutes of sleep last night and I think that’s pretty normal. It’s like keeping a food diary, you often don’t realize where the problems lie in your diet until you start keeping track of every bite. Hoping this will be a game changer and I’ll start feeling better and be more energetic.  

I was able to talk to my health coach, Velma, yesterday.  She always helps me to see my life more clearly and in a positive light. I’d become so down and discouraged over the last two weeks because I missed one workout and then consequently didn’t make it through the last three workouts. I’m worried about my evaluation next Monday because I’ve been feeling like I’m slipping. Josh keeps telling me that it’s a process and I have to be patient with myself but, you’ve all probably figured out, patience is not my strongest virtue.  Velma told me to stop being so down on myself and to realize how much I’ve accomplished in four months. She told me to realize that not many people would have stuck with my efforts to improve my health and that I should applaud myself. She also told me to start each day with gratitude and if the negative thoughts start trying to push their way in, shove them out with gratitude. By the time we ended our call, I was not only feeling more positive, I suddenly had more energy than I’ve had in weeks. Disappointment evidently weighs a lot more than positivity. 

Nutrition Advice

It’s (still) pouring rain today. I will try to keep this as short as possible because I have to swim (lol) over to feed the horses still but being succinct will be difficult because I want to talk about a complicated subject, nutrition.

If you've been following this page or my blog for a while, you know how radically I've changed our (my husband's and mine) diet in the last four months. We started the Keto diet at the end of October. Since then, Steve has lost about twenty pounds and I've lost around thirty-seven. It has truly changed our lives. We both have more energy and drive and I joined a gym and committed to working with a personal trainer three days a week for the next year. But, despite the obvious benefits, the macro make up of the Keto diet concerns me. On it, you consume: 70% fat - 20% protein - 10% carbohydrates. My doctor wanted me to stay on it no longer than six months. That would be April but I'm concerned how it might be affecting my "numbers" like cholesterol and sugar levels as well as blood pressure. So, I'm going next week to have those all checked and see where I'm at. Another concern has been how restrictive the Keto diet is with healthy carbs. I have no problem eliminating the starchy carbs and grains but I worry about the nutrients lost by cutting out fruit and limiting even healthy vegetables. So, I started shopping around for a new diet, a healthy one that I could live with for the rest of my life.

The first few weeks of my diet quest, I was terribly confused. There are so many options out there and so many of them push for lifetime and lifestyle changes that eliminate foods that I've always thought of as healthy. It also seemed that they all contradicted each other on exactly what foods were good and what were bad. I guess my confusion is understandable but it was still frustrating.

A week ago, I came across a company called Gainful that makes custom protein powders. I've been using a protein shake and nuts as either my breakfast or lunch for the last few months. This is especially helpful on the Keto diet because I can easily add psyllium to the shakes to counteract the constipation that is a side effect of the low fiber Keto diet. I'd also been adding extra collagen since I started doing strength training with my PT at the gym, Josh. I was hoping that would keep me building muscle and burning fat. Not only was the Gainful powder appealing because it was custom made to specifications but it was also a better price for a month's supply than what I was paying for three weeks supply of the brand I order from Amazon. I filled out the questionnaire and signed up for monthly deliveries with the option of canceling if it didn't live up to the hype. I was pleasantly surprised when I received an email from their licensed nutritionist asking for additional info on me and my diet and my goals. I wrote him an extensive letter that not only told what I've been doing for the past four months and how far I've come in that time but also the changes I want to make and my concerns about how to proceed as far as my diet is concerned. He wrote me back and his letter was just as extensive as he addressed each question and concern. I was extremely impressed and also, now have a much clearer road map to follow on my journey to good health through good nutrition.

One thing he told me was to eliminate the added collagen because it wasn't a whole protein and I could make better choices to get the right amount of protein to build that muscle. He also gave me tips on balancing out my macros and determining just how many calories I should have in a day. He said that this was not a one diet fits everyone world but it didn't have to be undecipherable either. He said I should avoid some of the high fat sources that were okay in the initial stages of the Keto diet, such as bacon and still continue to avoid high sugar and processed foods. He said, yes! add back in those healthy vegetables and fruit. He said that was what he didn't like about diets such as Keto that restricted whole food groups because you lost so much in nutrients. He also told me not to be concerned about my slow weight loss, I could make adjustments that might speed it up a bit but half a pound a week is still a loss and still good.

He has continued to give me advice and I'm thinking that switching to Gainful might be one of the best decisions I've made. I also made another discovery via email this morning...or maybe that should be rediscovery. I get newsletters from My Fitness Pal and other health info websites. I received one this morning that was talking about Dr. Gundry's diet. I checked my Kindle because that name was certainly familiar and I discovered that yes, I had bought his book sometime last year. Dr. Gundry is a heart surgeon who couldn't understand how he was doing everything right with his diet and exercise and still he was 70 pounds overweight and had high blood pressure and high cholesterol....on a vegetarian diet! He did research and developed a diet that solved all of that. It is similar to the Keto diet in that it restricts all "white" foods such as breads and starchy vegetables but the allowed vegetables and lower fat make it much more palatable for me. As I was reading the book this morning, I recalled that I dismissed this diet last year because, at least initially, it eliminated many foods we really liked and that, at the time, I didn't think we could live without. After, being on the very restrictive Keto diet for four months, this diet sounds like a holiday. lol It still restricts fruit to two servings a day because of the sugar content but it is only denied during the first two week's reset phase. You get lots of healthy vegetables, healthy fats, lean protein and even some fruit and the beans Steve loves after the reset phase. Heck, we're already doing this only stricter so this will be a breeze. I think I've found our healthy diet for life. I'm a happy camper now.

Grief

Some will say that loss is just a natural part of aging, the natural course of life.  Some say, you just have to learn to deal with it, accept it. But grief to me is more like standing before the expanse of a large lake shore. The waters hold all the loss and as it washes toward shore it covers you in a wave of grief and pain. Sometimes, that pain is just because you miss one person and sometimes it is for them all, for all the grief you keep buried deep in your soul that the water floats to the surface. You can be going about your day when one little reminder brings out a memory and sets the grief free. So, I don’t think we learn to deal with loss and we certainly don’t ever get over it. We simply endure it and brace ourselves for those unexpected waves. 

A Little Rain Must Fall

Yesterday was the first really difficult day I’ve had since I started this fitness quest.  I’ve started warming up on the rower because Josh told me it was the best full body workout I could get from the machines. He told me to start off slow and steady and only to do 2-3 minutes before our workout session but you know me.  That seemed like a ridiculously small number so I kept pushing on and as for slow and steady, I insisted that I keep the calorie burn number above 800....two huge mistakes especially since my workout with Josh that followed was all about core. I was sore by bedtime and barely slept because of it. Getting in and out of bed was excruciating. I made it okay the next morning but I was still terribly sore. Then, while making my lunch, I started sneezing and something happened in my lower abdomen. By the time I finished lunch, the pain was awful. I knew it was too late for ice so I heated a wet towel in the microwave to make a heating pad and I was lying in bed, holding that on the offended muscles until time to feed the horses. It helped and the ibuprofen did as well. I took two more Ibuprofen and a magnesium tablet at bed time and I rolled on some essential oil that Steve’s friend’s wife mixed up for me. I ended up getting the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks. I’m still sore this morning but it no longer feels like someone is trying to rip my guts out. I think I’ll take it easy again today but hopefully, I won’t be spending most of it reclined and clutching a heating pad. 

Yippee! I broke the 180 plateau! 179.6!!!🎉💥🎉

The more I read about what is considered by all the different “experts” to constitute good nutrition, the more confused I become. 

The Fall

The daily health challenge today was to do ten lunges. I think I have that handled. I have a session with Josh this afternoon so I’m sure we will do plenty of these only harder because I’ll be standing on a platform and then stepping back to touch my knee to the floor. It can feel like torture but it’s getting results so I don’t complain...much. 

I took a fall yesterday and I’m sore today and a bit concerned how that will affect my workout. The fall was actually ironic since I was driving an older friend of mine who uses a walker and I’m constantly concerned she will fall because she has before. But I had her safely buckled into my truck when I slipped off the curb while putting her walker in the truck bed. I fell sideways into the side of the truck. I twisted my ankle, banged my hip, elbow and shoulder but the worst damage was to my left wrist which was mashed between the truck, the walker and me. It was nearly two hours before I got home and was able to put ice on it but it does feel and look better today. Fingers crossed that I don’t have to use it much today. 

Just made an appointment with my primary care physician to check my numbers, blood pressure, sugar, cholesterol. I want to see how this diet is affecting those. My weight loss has slowed down to about half a pound a week but I feel I’m building muscle. It was a bit frustrating when I realized that at that rate I’d be two years reaching my goal weight! Still, I think I need to measure my progress by how my clothes fit and how I feel rather than what the scale says. 

Unexpected Blessings

I’m sitting outside a business where I’ve delivered an older friend for an appointment. I’ve been sitting outside their door for over an hour now and expecting the police to show up any minute to ask me to move my vehicle out of the fire lane. I’m not upset because I’m using this time to start reading a new book, The Creative Blueprint. This book lays out a plan to turn on your creativity and to thrive, not just live. I’m finding the first chapter very interesting and it’s allowing me to turn an unexpected down time into a productive experience. That’s my gratitude for today. That and the equally as unexpected sunshine. 

Count Your Blessings

I’ve been frustrated lately because my progress in several areas of my life has been very slow. Yesterday was understandable since I’d had a sleepless night and I felt like a zombie. The day before that, I was compiling our taxes and I vow to be more organized with all of that this year. So, I have had some excuses for a few days but the fact remains, I’m not much farther ahead of all the tasks and projects that need doing today on February 12 than I was on January 12. The question I ask myself is not why but what can I do about it? I answered first with a journal. The journal I started yesterday is different from what I do here because it deals not with what I hope to do but rather how I’m feeling on each day and why. I guess, I’m trying to dig deep into my lethargy and not only figure out why I’m holding myself back but also do away with the excuses. Except for illness, I have no excuse that should keep me from accomplishing nothing in a day. I also add what I’m grateful for because it’s hard to feel down and thankful at the same time. Today, I was thankful for a good nights sleep and feeling so good. I was also grateful for the rain, odd as I know that sounds, because of the peace and tranquillity the sound of falling rain and the hushed, gentle light of a rainy day brings. 

Goals

I’ve talked about the website that sends me daily health challenges. Today’s challenge was to imagine a goal and how it will feel to accomplish it with all your senses. Since I’m on this fitness quest, you might think that is my main goal but the getting fitter, healthier and more energetic are all really a means to the end goal...or make that goals. There are three, turn my house back into a home with some fix up and remodeling, start riding and working with my horses again and get back to work, I’m an artist and I’ve been on a long hiatus. I’m a day dreamer so I’ve actually already done this challenge with all three. By the end of this year, I hope I’m experiencing all three with all of my senses in reality. 

Yesterday with Josh, we did intervals. It wasn’t easy but it evidently did some good because I’m really feeling it today. Still my energy is rising and my mood with it. I’m hoping to accomplish a lot today. Hope you all are having a great day, too.

Declaration

I'm going to do something I've not had the courage to do before, I'm revealing my starting weight and where I'm at now. I started at a little over 216 pounds. Today, I'm down to 181. Yes, that is still high and I've been wavering over that second digit drop to 7 for several weeks now. But Velma told me yesterday, "You never thought you'd be under 200 and when you got in the 190's, you celebrated. Then you never thought you'd be in the 180's (Me-haven't been that low in at least 14 years! ) but you got there! And you are going to drop under 180 soon and then before you know it, you will drop below 170. Before you know it, you will be at your goal weight of 136." Velma is my cheerleader, my motivator and I have ever faith in her sense that I can do this. So, 181 is still very over weight but I'm no longer obese! And that scale is not a good measure of the progress I'm making with my fitness. Still, I'm very happy to be here. I feel so much better than I did 35 pounds ago. I'm not only stronger and more energetic, I'm more limber and lots of my hip and back pain have disappeared. So, I have forty-five more pounds to lose to reach my goal weight. Who knows, I might find another weight that I'm just as comfortable with before I get there but this is one trip that is all about the journey and not the destination.

A Few Things That Need to Be Said

I should be working today because for the first time in a long time, I'm full of energy. I do have a lot planned but I had to take the time to talk to you all about a few things.

One, how much my energy lagged during those initial three weeks of training. I was so beat after the midday workouts that I accomplished little the rest of the day and the next day, if I didn't workout, I was still exhausted on oooh so sore. Yesterday, I told Josh from the get go that I wasn't feeling well. I wasn't really sick, I was just lethargic and achy and kind of blue. He started off gently with me but he didn't let me slack and he pushed me to do more than required when he knew I could...and I did. I left that workout feeling so energized and that energy lasted for the rest of the day.

Two, I was talking in my previous post about how much I've lost. Well, that is just on the scale. I honestly don't know how to calculate where I'm really at right now. In the past month, I've only lost two pounds on the scale but there is that 8% drop in body fat! There is the fourteen pounds of muscle I've gained...and since muscle weighs more than fat, I don't know how that translates. I have gone down three sizes in most of my clothes. Clothes that were tight are not any more and some t-shirts look like dresses now. I wore a form fitting top to my workout yesterday and I ran into a dear old friend that works out there every day and she mentioned how good I looked. That made me feel great. It's taking me a while to realize that I do look different. I've worked hard to stop caring about others opinions too because they can be biased but when someone is sweet enough to say something nice to me and to be obviously amazed by the change in me, I am so grateful. Velma, my health coach, tells me all of the time to be my own cheerleader and not to wait on validation from others. I do believe that's a necessity but, growing up in the South, we good Southern girls were taught that it is vanity to brag on yourself. So, I'm going against all my upbringing when I state that I am proud of myself because I've put in the work....lots of hard work. lol

Third point, a friend, Paul Julian, said to me today that we can not change until we mentally decide to change. To be honest, I've been miserable for a long time about not just my weight but my life in general. But Paul is so right. This one change, deciding to be selfish and a bit brave and invest some time, effort and money in myself, is going to have wide range consequences. This new found confidence (which is not a dirty word) is going to expand into all aspects of my life. I'm now feeling more positive that I can accomplish all of my goals. And my hope is, by sharing both my triumphs and struggles here, I can help others to find their new positive attitudes also.

Kudos to Me

My health coach, Velma, told me a few weeks ago that I should be my own cheerleader because if I wait for other people to give me praise, even if it is well deserved, I might be waiting forever. Part of my journey, in the past year and even since the first of this year, has been realizing that. It's okay to praise myself when I've worked hard. It's okay to celebrate my victories. And it is certainly okay to splurge on myself with both time and money when something as important as my health is concerned and that is what I did with my commitment to train three times a week with Josh for the next year. I realized that I could not have made such great progress without his help. He's humble about it. He says he's just a motivator but the training is much more than that. I know there is lots of science and lots of knowledge and experience behind those workouts. Otherwise, I don't think I could have done this:

Incentive

During my workout yesterday, my trainer had me doing squats while holding bell weights on my forearms. When I finished the last set, I asked him how much they weighed. He answered, 17 pounds each. I said, I was carrying that much weight all of the time before I lost thirty-five pounds. No wonder I felt exhausted all of the time and getting up from sitting in the floor as well as other normal daily activities always involved much effort and was often an ordeal. I still want to lose that much again. Imagine how good I will feel and how much more I will be able to do and accomplish then. That is the incentive that keeps me pushing on.