Regaining Your Power

I have something else to talk about today. Velma and I discuss more than just physical health and weight loss when we have our weekly coaching calls. She told me, this past Monday, that she was impressed of the emotional strength I've gained since I began this journey 79 days ago. She said that it was because of this page and my blog where I not only record my successes and my setbacks but I become introspective and try to sort out my motivations and those things holding me back from having the life I want. We had just discussed something very hurtful that someone did to me years ago. The incident was actually motivating but I would much rather have positive influences in my life. Velma just kept responding to my story by exclaiming, "That's so terribly hurtful and cruel." Then she said, "You know, Sande, that had absolutely nothing to do with you. It was all about their own pain and insecurity. They just took it out on you." I told her that I was aware of that now even if I didn't realize it at the time. I said that most helpful wisdom that had come to me in my 62nd year was that forgiveness was for me not for the person who offended me. I heard Phil Fulmer answer, after his firing as UT's football coach and in response to a reporter's question of whether he resented the university, "Holding on to resentment is like taking poison and expecting it to kill the other guy." If your from Tennessee, you know that Phil did get his revenge in a way and now is the athletic director. His words were so true. I use to hold onto hurt, I use to blame myself, think I deserved it and often feared being around those who hurt me. I've realized, as I've gotten older, that I wasted far too much time and energy concerning myself about these things. I discovered that I was not only allowing these sad people power over me, I was giving my power to them. When I finally decided to forgive and let go of the hurt, I not only felt set free, I felt empowered! So, I'm claiming my power now. Now, I would pity those people....if I were thinking about them at all. lol